I Only Want What I Can't Have
by Victoria Levi
Summary: Loving a Hyuuga isn't easy, so is it worth it? This fic looks into the possible politics involved in Hyuuga relationships and the idea of "what if" Moegi/Hyuuga OC
1. Chapter 1

One never knows how to start things like this. Where to start the story so that it makes sense, what to include, what to leave out? What is too much information, what is essential? I'd like to say I will start from the beginning, but I don't quite know where that is because to know the beginning you need to know the end right?

I graduated from one of the best schools in the village, I worked hard to become a painfully average ninja, I made the ANBU team, not too early, not too late, I dated, I got dumped, I traveled, I came back. I'm not beautiful. I'm not smart.

But none of that ever mattered to him. It baffled me. He was beautiful, talented, smart, a genius really. He was far from average in every respect. He was one of the top ANBU, he became ANBU at the age of 16. He was respected by the elders for his flawless tracking skills; he was ogled by all the girls for his flawless body. I would be lying if I said I wasn't one of those girls.

He and I were like day and night, which is why I found myself in perfect shock when things took a turn to where they are now.

At the age of 22 I was still single. As academy klutz and unintentional troublemaker I didn't expect much else. I wasn't always single, I had dated a few guys in the past… I would like to put an emphasis on 'a few'. But they never lasted longer then a few months, usually when they got tired of spilt milkshakes and trips to the first aid offices. At age 23, I found myself inexplicably in love.

Like many things in my life, I met him by accident.

"MOEGI! Would you stop catching flies with your mouth?" Konohamaru yelled at me irritably.

No I was not in love with that loud mouth; he along with Udon, just happened to be my team mate and childhood friend. It's funny at even at 23, things still felt like when we were 13. I guess we still kept that childlike quality, which makes it even harder to believe my current state of un-singleness. At least I think that's what it was, nothing was official, but according to all the girls, he and I were an item.

"Your ice cream is melting." Udon said calmly as he sniffed at the loose mucus that seemed to collect at the base of his nose. That poor kid seemed to be perpetually sick. There was always some reason for having the sniffles, right now its because of pollen allergy; in fall, it will have something to do with the decaying leaves, in winter… snow mould. That kid was a walking encyclopaedia of allergies.

I felt a soft, cold wet trail go down my right hand. I registered what Udon said about my ice cream and licked the offending trail of cream so I did not waste one bit of the sweet taste. I heard Konohamaru sigh.

"Moegi, you are hopeless."

I looked up at him wondering why he would say such a thing, but it didn't take long to realise what brought about his comment. In licking my hand I managed to jam my ice cream cone into my hair and it now sat in my hand looking awfully sad in its smushed state with strands of red hair stringing from the white mess to my head. This was going to suck.

I began to pull my hair out of the melting sticky substance. I couldn't help think that I would need to go home and shower again to get it all out. It was going to be a hot day and come noon this wasn't going to smell too good. I was so concentrated on getting as much cream out of my hair that I didn't noticed when a perfectly shaped hand handed me a tissue. When the white lifeless sheet was gently shoved into my view I looked up slowly to see a perfect face smiling down at me. His perfect lips warm and inviting, his perfect pale eyes friendly, his perfect cheekbones high on his perfectly pale face which was framed with perfect shiny black hair that hung straight down past his perfect shoulders. He was heavenly; an angel walking this village, and he was smiling at me. I stared at him awestricken. He was smiling at me. He was always smiling at me. So why was it that I still felt my heart stop like some crazy fan girl whenever he looked at me? I knew my jaw was open again, catching flies as Konohamaru would say. I just couldn't take my eyes off this perfection.

My pathetic ice cream cone melted some more and a wayward drop of cream landed on my bare leg jolting me back into reality. I heard soft laughter. The young man before me took the tissue and gently wiped my leg and took the cone from my hand, tossing it into a near by trash bin. I watched with a saddened expression as my favourite treat was so easily tossed away. I guess my expression did not go unnoticed because I heard a sweet voice comfort me on my loss.

"Moegi, we will get you another one." Maero smiled as he closed the distance between us so he could continue to clean up the mess I seemed to have created.

Just like the ice cream I had just lost, I melted into some unidentifiable pile of goo around him. Completely useless, how he found the will to continue in my company was beyond me.

"But first perhaps we should get you home so that you can get yourself cleaned up?" He helped me up.

"Sheesh Moegi, what is wrong with you?" Konohamaru sneered at me.

"Umm… catch you later?" I called back at him as Maero lead me in the direction of my apartment.

I heard Konohamaru continue his annoyed conversation with Udon, trying to figure me out. I do hope when he does he could explain it to me, because I could hardly explain it myself.

At my apartment Maero made himself comfortable as I made my way to the bathroom. We had been friends; or should I say together, for about six months. I don't know what it is about him that just affects me so badly. He took it in his stride though, never acting like it was out of place. Like a perfect gentleman… or should I say like a trained film star, he treated me like a normal girl as if I never went about around him like some star struck fan, though it was always the worst when we were in public. When we were alone, things were different. I still looked at him far too much, how could I not? He was gorgeous; it should be illegal to be that good looking. But at least I was a little more coordinated and less of the babbling fan girl I was when we were out in the public eye.

The first time we met was completely by accident and completely different. Udon and I were on a simple ANBU mission, well as simple as an ANBU mission could be. Usually on ANBU assignments we do not run into other ANBU members, it was a safety precaution, like the masks and the codenames. To give up ones ANBU identity in the field could turn deadly.

Udon and I had just set up camp. We had managed to secure our perimeter with Udon's traps. We were taking turns for night watch. On my shift I heard a crack in the forest, my senses alerted, I searched the dark with my eyes for the source of the sound. It didn't take long before I heard one of Udon's traps go off. I jumped to my feet; knowing exactly which trap it was, but I was not prepared for what I saw next. Hanging upside down unceremoniously from a tree branch was the man that was now sitting in my living room. He looked angry, his ANBU mask on the ground revealing his identity. I had seen him before at the academy but I didn't know his name. All I knew was that he was a Hyuuga. This knowledge only made me even more baffled. Shouldn't he have been able to see past the traps? What was he doing sneaking around our camp? Why was he alone? Was he a spy? Why was he so handsome? My thoughts were cut short by his angry words.

"Would you stop staring and get me out of this?" he snarled at me.

I eyed him suspiciously, "How do I know you aren't the enemy?"

"Do I LOOK like the enemy?" he snapped back at me.

"You look like someone who got caught in our trap, therefore you fall under speculation." I retorted.

"Look girl, as you can clearly see, I am wearing the official Konoha uniform, my mask is on the ground and if you look in my front pocket you will find my tags." His voice carried a bit of an edge. Yup, definitely a Hyuuga.

"May I?" I asked him indicating that I wanted to see his tags.

"Please do." He sighed, evidently wanting to finish this exchange as soon as possible.

I reached into his breast pocket and I could feel his breath starting to even out. I found his tags and performed the hand seals that revealed the information I sought. 'Hyuuga Maero, ANBU, FIRE COUNTRY' complete with the Hokage's seal. He was the real deal. I cut him from the trap; he fell with a thud onto the soft forest floor.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked him, still a little suspicious.

"I was on my way back from a mission." He stated.

"Why were you spying on us?" I demanded.

"I wasn't spying." He said rolling his eyes.

I raised my eyebrows and deliberately looked at the set off trap.

He let out a defeated sigh. "I wasn't spying on your team, I was just curious."

"A curious Hyuuga wouldn't get caught in a low rate ninja trap. Why weren't you using your skills more carefully?" I stated perhaps a little too bitterly. He wasn't providing the answers I wanted.

"Because I didn't feel a threat." He said confidently.

Oh that was low, below the belt even, Udon and I were not a threat? He must have picked up on my anger.

"I knew we were from the same village, I didn't think you would retaliate."

"Were you sleeping through Ninja Basics 101? Attack first, ask questions later!" I was getting more impatient by the minute.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just wanted to see who was setting up camp so close to my own ok? I'm sorry can we forget this?" he growled through his teeth.

"We are going to have to; if word gets out that you revealed your identity while on mission you're toast." I tossed his ANBU mask back at him; he caught it gracefully and disappeared into the woods.

I went back to my camp, Udon had woken up. "What did you find?"

"A rat" I said venomously. I didn't like keeping secrets, especially when it was to cover up for some arrogant ninja.

I would say that was about 10 months ago… or so. Had you told me then that I would have that same arrogant man relaxing in my living room flipping through channels on the TV. while I washed ice cream from my hair I would have told you to lay off of the mind numbing poisons.

I stepped out of my bathroom and into the living room still drying my hair. I flopped down next to Maero on the couch; he turned off the TV and looked at me with a big smile.

"What? Did I miss a spot?"

"You're beautiful." He reached to touch a loose curl that hung on my shoulder. Seriously he must be a dream.


	2. Chapter 2

It was early in the morning. I sat myself comfortably in one of the desks of the auditorium. As is customary of most ninjas involved in high ranking missions, we had to attend follow up seminars and trainings to keep us up to speed with current events and techniques. Often they were nothing but a bore of useless information that we already knew, however, they were mandatory. I pulled out my loose leaf paper and pencils and set myself up to take notes, or at least try to appear to be taking them.

Fellow ninjas began piling in. It sometimes amazed me to see how many of us there really was, to think we had so many strong fighters in our village, and to know that what was in the auditorium was only about half of us. We still had ninjas in training, ninjas on missions, not to mention retired ninjas ready and able to jump back into action if the village needed them. It was a comforting thought.

I saw Konohamaru come in dragging his feet. Probably with a hangover, his idol, er… friend, had come back from a mission yesterday and no doubt they went out for drinks. He fell into the chair beside me.

"Ugggg"

"Good morning to you too," I responded to his grunt."I hope your ready for a full day lectures, I added smiling innocently; I just couldn't help rubbing it in.

"Uhh.. just wake me when it's over," Konohamaru groaned, letting his head hit the desk with a thud.

I took at look at the time;7:50 am. The lecture would be starting soon. I glanced around the auditorium. I knew Udon was on a mission and Maero was out of town on clan business so I wasn't expecting to see either of them, but still I scanned the crowd. Off to the right was a cluster of shiny black hair and pale eyes. The Hyuuga always stuck together. They seemed like a village of their own, keeping pretty much to themselves and not socialising with others unless they had to.

"Bunch of inbred snobs." Konohamaru's voice broke into my thoughts; he was looking in the same direction as I was.

I didn't respond. There was a time when Maero sat with them. I remember the day he broke free.

"Is this seat free?"

I was shocked when I saw who the voice belonged to. It sounded nothing like the voice in the forest. It was soft, kind, friendly.

"Ah.. ah.. um.. hmm.. That is.. You?" I stuttered.

"Real coherent Moegi." Konohamaru said rolling his eyes then looked at Maero, "And no, it is not free, That's Udon's seat."

"It is?" Udon sniffed from Konohamaru's opposite side where he was already seated and ready for the lecture.

Konohamaru grumbled. "Fine sit, but don't expect us to be friendly."

Maero sat down and turned to me. I wanted to talk to him, ask what the hell he was doing because it was obvious that his choice of seat had become a topic of everyone's interest. The rest of the auditorium was looking at us with raised eyebrows, while the Hyuuga just glared in our direction, though I think the glare was a permanent feature of theirs which couldn't be helped.

"Umm… ah… excuse me… um. I'm Moegi." I mentally smacked myself in the head.

"I know, we met previously in the forest remember? Though I don't recall you be so inarticulate back then, perhaps I met your twin?" Maero joked.

"I, I do, I mean remember, not inarticulate, that is to say… no twin." God I need help.

"Ok, I think I understood that." He smiled at me. Genuinely smiled.

If anything I think he was the other twin, like the good twin or something. And why in gods name was he sitting next to me? Perhaps he was blind. Ya that must have been it, lack of pupils equals blind. Someone should tell him of his faux pas and that he was not in fact sitting amongst the Hyuuga.

"I'm not a Hyuuga." Ok so that someone was not supposed to be me. I mentally smacked my head again.

He leaned over to my ear and whispered, "I know."

I blushed. I was being beyond stupid, and he was tolerating me. That jerk face from the forest was being patient and kind with me, and it was, for lack of a better word exhilarating.

After that day, Maero never failed to sit next to me when he was in town. Slowly people stopped staring, the Hyuuga stop snarling, kind of, and I began to enjoy his presence.

Today I missed him. He wasn't here. I took another look at the Hyuuga, One of the women looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. It was Hanabi's older sister, perhaps the only one with an ounce of humanity in her; with the exception of Maero of course.

The lecture was dull and boring as expected and I suspected that Konohamaru had slept through most of it with his eyes open.

As Konohamaru and I were making our way out of the building, Hanabi's sister came over to us.

"Um, Miss Moegi, may I speak with you." Her voice was soft and calming.

I looked up at Konohamaru, both of us in a bit of shock. The Hyuuga heir wanted to talk to me. Konohamaru didn't look happy about it, and although common sense would tell me that if someone of the Hyuuga wanted to talk to me and it wasn't Maero or Hanabi, it couldn't be good. But somehow I felt that this woman was not here to give me bad news.

"Of course," I smiled at her. She gave a tentative smile to Konohamaru, which I took as a hint that she wanted to talk to me in private. I knew my friend was too thick to understand the situation so I made it easier on everyone. "Konohamaru, catch you at the training grounds later, k?"

"Ya whatever," he said casually, though I knew he was a little hurt at the brush off.

Hanabi's sister and I walked towards the park while Konohamaru went off the opposite way.

"Miss Moegi, I'm sorry for approaching you suddenly without introduction. My name is Hinata. My sister Hanabi I believe was your classmate," she said after we found ourselves a secluded bench and sat down.

"Yes she was, we sometimes trained together. She is very talented." I told her with a smile.

"Thank you. I know she has learned a great many things from her classmates." Hinata gave a small bow of gratitude. She was silent for a bit before continuing. "If I may be so bold to ask, what is your relationship with my cousin Maero?"

I didn't know how to answer, what had Maero told his family? Why would they seek clarification, what would he want me to say to them? I didn't want to get him into trouble. Why the hell didn't he warn me about this?

"Is our friendship causing his troubles at home?" I asked cautiously.

"Not as of yet, but it may, depending on the course your relationship takes."

"I see." I looked down at my hands finding them suddenly interesting.

"Whatever your relationship is, it won't upset me; I just want to prepare for what may come."

What may come? She made it sound like an impending war. "Miss Hinata," I paused, not sure how to phrase what I wanted to say. "Maero is very special to me and I would never intentionally do anything to cause him or his family harm."

"I believe you, and that is why I wanted to talk to you. I am not worried about what harm you will cause us." She paused again, "Loving a Hyuuga is not easy, especially for an outsider. I can see that you are a wonderful person just by observing the changes in my younger cousin. I am only one person and I cannot change the Hyuuga alone, but I hope that with the help of people like you it can be done. I don't want anyone else to have to suffer what I have suffered, what my sister will suffer and what countless other Hyuuga and outsiders who become associated with us inevitably also suffer."

"I'm not following you," and it wasn't a lie, I didn't quite know what she was getting at. I mean many things were going through my head, but nothing that would clearly explain what she was saying.

"I, I don't expect you to." She sighed. "It is not my place to tell you, it is up to Maero. Thank you for your time Miss Moegi."

Hinata got up and turned to leave; I stood up but didn't follow. What the hell was that about? What was she trying to say? Why would she start to tell me something as heavy as that and just leave me with questions I didn't know I had? Was I going to die? Cause damn, she sounded pretty serious. Perhaps the Hyuuga had a ditch where they kept the bodies of normal eyed exes. Come to think of it, Hanabi dated Konohamaru and he is still alive, so scratch that idea. Well whatever it was I was sure I would figure it out sooner or later.

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have the hottest boyfriend in the village; well at least I think I do. But there is that little bit of reasoning in me that keeps telling me it's all a lie, a farce. There is something amiss and if I don't catch it soon I will end up getting hurt big time. The trouble is though, even after that little chat with Hinata, I still don't know what it is.

You know that dream like state, where everything around you is just a dream, that eventually you wake up and everything around you will disappear. When it comes to Maero, that's how I feel. He is only a dream. My dream. That arrogant Hyuuga in the forest was nothing more than a figment of my imagination which I expanded on and made into my boyfriend. My perfect boyfriend. This is like a soap opera, now I have his family warning me about the ominous future ahead. Yup, a soap opera, all I needed now was for Konohamaru to sleep with Udon and then confess his love to me! Ew. That's vile, they are like my brothers. I really need to keep a grip on my thoughts.

I got up; it was almost time to meet up with Konohamaru for our evening training and I knew he would be in a mood if I didn't show up on time again.


	3. Chapter 3

"Maero, may I ask you something?"

We were watching a movie and it had gotten boring, leaving me to mull over my thoughts. I probably would have kept them to myself if I hadn't remembered the conversation I had with Maero's cousin almost a month ago.

"Mmm?"

"What are we exactly? Like you and me?" I asked, curious.

"Umm…" Maero wrinkled his forehead in contemplation. "Ninjas?"

I threw a pillow at him which he easily deflected. "No stupid, I mean us. I mean are we an 'us'?"

Maero was quiet and I began to get anxious wondering if perhaps, just maybe I had misunderstood our relationship these past months. Couples usually kiss don't they? Maero and I had never actually shared a kiss. Wow, come to think of it, I must be pretty dense. Almost one year of thinking he was my boyfriend and we have never even kissed. Sure, he had often kissed the top of my head but my mom does that too. We have hugged, but so do Konohamaru and I and that doesn't mean anything. Although we held hands from time to time, we never held hands in public. What were we exactly?

Maero finally spoke. "What brings this up?"

"Well we never um… you know." I wanted to stop here for dramatic emphasis. However, I figured that I really should clarify because it did sound a little ambiguous. "You know… kiss."

"Is that something you want?"

"No!"

Well that was dumb. "Yes…"

Oh ya that cleared things right up. "I mean…"

What did I mean? I wasn't adverse to a kiss from the rather handsome man on my sofa, but what I really wanted to know was if we were in a position to kiss. I was starting to wonder if we were just friends who looked like a couple. Wow this was complex. I hung my head unsure of what to say next.

"Moegi," Maero tilted my chin. "Look at me."

I bit my bottom lip as he examined my eyes. His were piercing.

"Moegi, there is no other girl I want to be with." His words were deliberate and genuine.

So did this mean we were a couple? Cause damn the rest of the village thought we were and I wanted to agree with them. Well this was awkward.

Maero pulled me into a hug, the movie completely forgotten. He held me tightly.

"I'm sorry; I thought my feelings were clear." His breath tickled my skin. "Moegi, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course." I hugged him back. This all felt juvenile, like we were back at the academy handing out notes that read 'do you like me: yes/no', but I didn't care. It was official now. I felt him hold me tighter.

"So the last year, umm what was that?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, that was the trial period. Congratulations you passed." He replied with a cocky grin.

Maero released me from his death grip hug and took my hands in his. His smile monopolised his face, his eyes seemed to be taking in everything he saw before him. His one hand moved to cup my face.

"You have no idea how much I have wanted to kiss those lips of yours." Maero whispered.

"Why didn't you?"

"I was scared of hurting you."

Scared of hurting me? What was he planning to do? Bite me? I was more hurt that he didn't kiss me; I was starting to wonder if I wasn't attractive to him.

"Hurting me?"

"Ya," he laughed. "It's dumb I know."

Maero caressed my cheek with his thumb before nervously bending down, touching his lips to mine.

You know, there is something incredibly unromantic about talking about a kiss beforehand. It is about as lame as when a guy asks if he can kiss you, but it didn't matter to me. He was finally kissing me.

Maero's lips were incredibly gentle and soft, almost heavenly. Oh that was cheesy. I cradled his head in my hand pulling him a little closer, just like I saw in the movie. I felt his fingers running through my hair then down to my back. The kiss became more intense. I needed to breathe but I didn't want to break free. Thankfully Maero did it for me.

"I can't believe I went all that time without ever kissing you," he breathed.

"Ya what a waste. Why stop now."

I don't know where I got the courage to not only deliver that rather corny line, but also to pull him back down for another take.

-----

"What's up with you today?" Konohamaru asked with a wrinkled nose.

"Nothing why?" I replied.

"I don't know; you're acting weird. I mean weirder then usual." He scratched his head.

"I think he means you are smiling a lot today." Udon whispered to me

"Not smiling, grinning like a buffoon." Konohamaru protested.

"What? Can't I just be in a good mood without being questioned about it?"

"It's just creepy, that's all."

"You have a warped sense of creepy Konohamaru."

We continued to walk up the little path till we got to the familiar clearing. It had been a while since the last time we trained all together. First Udon was out on a mission then Konohamaru. It was nice to finally have all three of us together.

"Alright Moegi, you are up first." Konohamaru said sternly.

Ever since we were kids we would see who could last the longest fighting off two team mates at the same time. Konohamaru was the best out of all of us, but Udon and I still tried to beat him. The exercise really had no point other than to inflate Konohamaru's ego more.

"What? Why me?"

"Ya, you. You seem to be in a good mood, you might actually land a punch this time." He shrugged off his training bag and let it fall to the ground as I took my usual spot in the middle of the field.

Konohamaru came at me first aiming for my middle, I side stepped feeling him rush past me while Udon attacked from the left. I successfully blocked him, sending him tumbling backwards. I swung around to see Konohamaru coming at me again from a different direction. I sprang up and over him, using his shoulder as a push off. I wasn't really attacking just defending.

I made a soft landing and noticed that Udon had managed to lay out some traps around me. I didn't even see him do that. He was getting fast.

I figured that I should pick up the slack and start attacking back. I saw Konohamaru coming from the left. I did a quick series of hand seals which emitted an energy field that knocked both Konohamaru and Udon flat on their backs. I smiled at my triumph. I went for Udon first. He wasn't as strong as Konohamaru, but if he kept laying out traps things would get tricky. A couple of combos and Udon was down. In all fairness to Udon though, we have trained together for over ten years, I could read his moves like a book and I knew all his weaknesses. Konohamaru was a little more of a challenge. I dodged his punches and snuck in a chakra enforced kick to his torso. I wasn't expecting to make contact because Konohamaru was usually pretty quick, but I managed to knock him the ground. He grabbed his midriff and rolled in pain. I stood my ground; I was sure it was a trick.

"Moegi, man what the hell was that?"

"Umm a kick?" I relaxed and walked over to him. "Don't tell me you can't take a kick from a girl?"

"I think you just aren't concentrating Konohamaru." Udon piped up from the edge of the field.

"Oh shut it snot nose!"

Konohamaru was pretty touchy today. Something was up and I wanted to know what.

"You criticize me for acting weird, but look at yourself; you didn't even last five minutes in our fight? Udon is right. Something is on your mind. What is it?" I asked him as I offered my hand to help him up.

"Nothing," he snapped.

Udon got up and walked towards us, no doubt to give me valuable information.

"He was assigned his next mission this morning. It's a two man with Hanabi."

Thank you Udon, you never disappoint.

"Damnit Udon, I don't give a shit about my mission partner."

"Oh and it is a long one," Udon continued as if Konohamaru hadn't spoken at all. "Two months was it?"

"Wow, shit." If there was one thing I knew it was that Konohamaru never really got over Hanabi. He claimed he was fine, he dated other girls after her, but she, she was his first. First everything. And then one day she just ended it, no warning, like her love could be turned on and off like a light switch.

"Udon shut your trap, I don't want to hear it."

"What? Moegi wanted to hear it," Udon sniffed. "Plus 'there are no secrets between us' right?"

One could always trust Udon to be painfully honest and blunt. What made it even funnier is that he wasn't aware of this, to him; he was just following the rules. If I were to tell him to jump ten times every day at three o'clock he would do it without question.

Konohamaru angrily grabbed his bag. This was by far the shortest training session we had ever had. It reminded me of the last time our training was cut short. It was the day after Maero had first sat by me at one of the lectures.

"_OW! THAT HURT!" I rubbed my backside where I landed. Konohamaru was being unusually forceful in our sparring match._

"_Well if you were paying attention you would have been able to block that! Moegi, what is wrong with you today?" he retorted, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. _

_I just bit my bottom lip and looked at him. He was right, my mind was elsewhere and it cost me the match. What would have happened if we were in the field? Would I have been as careless? I would hope not. _

_Konohamaru let out a sigh. "We'll continue tomorrow." Disappointment was etched in his face._

_I winced. I may be clumsy and a little absentminded, but when it came to fighting I was usually on top of things. Konohamaru often told me that he enjoyed sparring with me because it was a challenge for him. Not today. _

"_Let's go get ice cream." He shot me a smile._

"_Yeah, ice cream." Ice cream solves all problems; well that's at least what I tried to believe. I didn't think it would solve this one. It wasn't really a problem, but more of a mystery; one that wouldn't let me sleep at night or function properly during the day. _

_I hopped to my feet and follow my team mate out of the training grounds. _

_We made it to the shop; it was busy today, but I didn't mind the wait. Konohamaru was kind enough to wait in line while I kept a table for us off to the side. There were many familiar faces in the shop today; one in particular caught my eye. He was with Kakashi Sensei. From a distance it looked liked neither were really aware of the other. Kakashi was reading his book which never seemed to leave his side and Naruto had a milkshake that he never really touched. I closed my eyes. It was as if my senses heightened and I realised that Kakashi sensei wasn't in fact reading, and Naruto, well the only reason his milkshake was still full was that he was in an intense conversation. _

"_It's not fair Kakashi sensei. We… we…" Naruto's voice sounded strained. _

"_Six years is a long time Naruto, but traditions are traditions. You can't go up against one of the oldest and strongest clans in the village."_

_I immediately realised what they were talking about. Miss Hinata. She got married a few years back to a fellow clan member. The marriage meant the end of Naruto's and Hinata's long relationship. Konohamaru told me that Naruto and Miss Hinata still saw each other for a while after the wedding, having secret trysts. But when she became pregnant with her first child she completely shut him out. It looks like even now he still feels for her._

"_It's stupid," Naruto continued. "You'd think our relationship would count for something… When I'm Hokage…."_

_I couldn't hear the rest of Naruto's sentence because Konohamaru arrived with our cones._

"_Hey Moegi, they ran out of vanilla, but they had this one flavour that you may like. Birthday Cake."_

"_Birthday Cake?" I asked with some scepticism._

"_Sorry, though the clerk said that if you liked Vanilla, you will definitely like this one." Konohamaru tried to sound reassuring._

"_Thanks." I took a lick. "It's not bad." And it really wasn't. A part of me thought that I would consider getting this flavour again._

_Konohamaru smiled and took a bite of his own ice cream, "I'm glad you like it."_

That memory sparked an idea.

"Hey why don't we go for Korean BBQ tonight?"

Udon sniffed at the loose mucus and nodded in agreement.

"Konohamaru," I prodded. "What do you say? It's been a while since we last went for BBQ and seeing as you leave tomorrow on that mission we might as well go tonight. It might be a while before we can go again."

"Ya fine, but don't expect me to enjoy myself." Konohamaru groaned. I knew that he was just being melodramatic. At times he was moodier than girls during their monthly.

At the restaurant we were quick to make our first order of meat and vegetables. I took the initiative to start grilling the meat when it came. Udon helped by placing some random vegetables on the grill losing some to the flames below.

I was itching to ask Konohamaru about the mission he was going on. I must admit that I was surprised the Hokage would place him on a two man with Hanabi. I know that as a ninja he should be able to set aside personal feelings for the sake of the village, but seriously how hard would it have been to replace either one of them? There is no way Konohamaru would be able to keep focus with Hanabi so close to him. His love-hate for her was pretty strong. There had to be more to it than what we saw a face value. The Hokage obviously saw something we didn't.

"Your mission tomorrow must be a dangerous one huh?" Udon said casually as he flipped a strip of meat.

"Ya, dangerous for that Hyuuga brat, I may just kill her in her sleep," Konohamaru growled.

Dangerous? Why would Udon assume that the mission would be… oh my god. He was a genius. Love-hate, it was a very strong emotion. Of course the Hokage would pair them up if it was a very dangerous mission; Konohamaru would protect Hanabi at all costs, even if he did 'hate' her. And of course because of the tension between them they would be anxious to finish the mission quickly and efficiently. Genius really. I couldn't help but smile at the brilliance of it.

"Moegi you are doing it again," Konohamaru complained.

"Eh?"

"The grinning like a fool, it's getting on my nerves."

"Oh sorry, I didn't realise I was doing it." I couldn't help but grin even more. "So what is this mission about?"

"We have to deliver a message to a village deep in Lighting Country." Konohamaru stuffed a piece of meat into his mouth.

"Well that seems pretty lame, not exciting at all," Udon commented.

"Why would that take two months?" I was curious.

"Hanabi knows the rest of the mission, it is part clan business. I am just there to help protect the messenger." Konohamaru said through his teeth, obviously bitter that he wasn't a hundred percent in the know amongst other reasons.

I let the subject drop and instead steered the conversation towards mindless chatter about new jitsu's the latest live bands, and flowers. Why flowers? I don't know, blame Udon for that one. The goal was to help our friend get out of his funk even if it was just for an hour or two before he had to head out on his mission.

"So Moegi," Konohamaru said in between chews. "Why so happy today."

Ok so talking about me was not in my plans. I wasn't quite ready to blurt out that I was snogged by that hot Hyuuga I have been seen hanging around with.

"No reason." I stuffed an overcooked mushroom into my mouth.

"Don't give me that BS, I know something is up."

I chewed on the rubbery mushroom. "Make you a deal, you tell me why this mission is eating you and I will spill everything." So much for getting our friend out of a funk.

"It's just a lame mission that's all," Konohamaru said under his breath.

It almost felt like he lost all the spark in his voice. The anger, the edge, it was gone.

"Konohamaru?"

"Moegi, just fuckin' drop it ok?"

Nope, there it was again, and so much stronger than before that I decided to heed his words. At least he forgot about prying into my life. We finished our dinner with small talk which I don't remember much about, before splitting up and going our separate ways. It would be two months before we would see our friend again.


	4. Chapter 4

I really have been slacking. My apologies. I really like working on this fic, so I do intend to keep working on it :D

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The following months were uneventful; the days came and went without much incident. Maero and I seemed to spend more time together which was great, but I noticed that things were getting awkward regarding his family. He wouldn't talk to me about it; if I brought it up he would tell me not to worry about it, but how couldn't? I knew that us being together was putting a strain on his relationship with his family, Miss Hinata's words still lingered in my mind.

Konohamaru returned from his mission one week early. He came to my apartment around ten that same night. I had barely opened the door when he ploughed right in. He looked angry, confused, and sad all at the same time. Konohamaru paced around my living room without saying a word. A few times I saw him stop and open his mouth as if he was about to say something but then he would close it again and resume pacing. Unsure of what to do I excused myself to make some tea.

When I came back to the living room with the tea, Konohamaru was standing by the window clutching the sill and looking outside. I set one cup down on the coffee table and sat down to drink the other.

"You need to end your relationship with Maero." Konohamaru said, not turning.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Of course I heard him.

"That man, no matter how much he may love you, will only end up hurting you." Konohamaru's voice sounded broken.

"And you are sure of this how?" I asked sceptically.

Konohamaru turned to look at me; there was a hurt in his eyes that I couldn't understand. "That time," he started, "she, Hanabi… she was pregnant."

He suddenly broke down in tears. I sat on the sofa and stared at him in shock. I collected my senses, walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. Konohamaru let his tears flow freely. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry.

I wanted to know more, but I didn't have the heart to ask. As he cried, I tried to piece the information together. As far as we knew, Hanabi never gave birth. And if she did, she definitely never showed signs of pregnancy. She had broken with up Konohamaru suddenly and without warning. That must have been the reason why; she was pregnant with his child.

"Do you know why Hanabi's sister was reappointed heir?" Konohamaru asked me when he had finally calmed down.

"Hmm?" I had assumed it was punishment, but I had never really given it much thought. But now that he was bringing it up, Miss Hinata's sudden marriage came shortly after Konohamaru and Hanabi's break up.

"The Hyuuga, refused Hanabi to have our child and forced her get rid of it. The procedure was carried out by the family, but something went wrong," Konohamaru paused. "Now she can never have children. A barren heir, that must of added insult to injury," he scoffed. "If only they had just allowed her to keep the baby, serves them right."

Things were starting to make sense, albeit a little dramatic.

"I can't believe she didn't tell me," he whispered.

"Perhaps she didn't want to hurt you?" I reasoned.

"It's all the same, however; had she actually told me I would have understood."

"Would you?" Konohamaru was not the most forgiving or understanding person I knew and I wanted to say as much but I knew now was not the time. Had Hanabi actually told him the truth back then, I have no doubt in my mind Konohamaru would have gone Itachi on the Hyuuga family.

"… At least I would have forgiven her," Konohamaru mummbled. "I loved her."

He went back to looking out the window. The silence that followed was thick.

"I love her still." Konohamaru's voice was barely a whisper.

Had Konohamaru and Hanabi not gone on that mission, I wonder how much longer he would have held his grudge against her for breaking his heart. It was obvious now that his feelings about the situation had changed.

"The sooner you break up with Maero the better, Moegi." His voice was serious again.

I wanted to protest, but I didn't know what to say. The typical 'but I love him' was too cliché and naïve, and I knew Konohamaru would just shoot it down. After all, he loved Hanabi and that didn't spare him from the pain. If only Konohamaru could be happy with her again, then perhaps there would be hope for Maero and me.

"Why don't you run away? Together I mean. You and Hanabi?"

Konohamaru turned to look at me as if I had just lost my senses. "Have you lost your senses?" Haha! I knew it, I was right! That was what his look meant. "I can't run away with her, just like you can't with Maero!"

"Why not?" I replied. I honestly didn't see why it couldn't work.

"Moegi, are you blind or just naturally stupid?"

His question hurt, but I kept my mouth shut to allow him to continue. "They are both marked."

Ok, now he lost me. My confusion must have been apparent because he continued to explain.

"Maero is not from the main family, and Hanabi, well she was marked when her sister married."

Oh! Marked! That mark! I mentally chided myself for not remembering of such an important point. I knew Maero had the family seal, but I never had reason to question its purpose and he never talked about it. I thought back to the academy days when we studied Konoha family history. I vaguely recalled something about Hyuuga traditions and the branch family seal used to control and protect the family's secrets.

"On top of that, the family is currently arranging a marriage for Hanabi to some lame-ass clan outside of Konoha," Konohamaru said with contempt. "That's what the mission was about."

"An arranged marriage outside of the clan?"

I went to get the other cup of tea for Konohamaru and handed it to him.

"Ya, the Hyuuga have the upper hand. The other party thinks they can obtain leverage against the Hyuuga through Hanabi and whatever child she gives birth to, but the joke's on them. The Hyuuga are playing dumb." He took a sip of the lukewarm beverage.

"What does Hanabi have to say about this?"

"A lot, but does it matter? No." He answered his own question, but not mine. I didn't want to push it.

"Who assigned you to the mission?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Originally I though the Hokage did, but oddly enough it is was Neji."

Then he took another sip of his tea.

"Neji?" I was just as surprised. "Why does he have such influence and why would he care?"

"Well he _is_ married to the heir and although he is only a branch member he will at some point in the future have more power then even some main house members. He definitely has a vested interest in all this."

It became clear to me that Konohamaru knew much more about the Hyuuga family then I ever imagined him to.

"The Hyuuga members are nothing but pawns which the clan head plays with for his own satisfaction. You and Maero may be ok now, but ultimately he has no say in his future and neither do you, so you might as well get out before you get in too deep."

He emptied the contents of his cup and moved to the kitchen to place it in the sink.

"Thanks for the tea, and for lending your ear."

Konohamaru went to put on his shoes. I followed him, he was half way out the door when he turned to look at me, concern etched in his face. "I'm not sure if I should tell you or not, but Maero was engaged to another Hyuuga."

"What? Engaged? To who? When? Is he still?"

My head was trying to wrap around this new information.

"Does it matter? What can you do about it? But no, he isn't engaged anymore. Apparently he has some 'friends' on the inside that saw some merit in keeping him unmarried. But Moegi, we don't know if he'll be able to escape his fate should it happen again. Please keep that in mind, don't become another pawn for the Hyuuga to play with." And with that he left.

I closed the door behind him. A part of me couldn't believe that that was my friend Konohamaru who just left. He seemed so much older than his years, so mature. I locked the door and crossed to the kitchen to put away my own used cup before heading to bed.

Sleep didn't come easily that night, and the following morning proved to be an interesting one.

---

I woke up the following morning to someone knocking on my door. The sun hadn't risen yet and I wondered who the hell would be at my door at this time. I got out of bed, pulled on some pants and threw a sweater over my t-shirt. I made my way to the door, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. They knocked again, this time harder and more impatiently.

"I'm coming!"

I opened the door to find Maero in his uniform. I moved aside to let him in.

"Maero? What are you doing? Are you going on a mission?"

He looked worried. He took my hands into his, they were cool.

"I couldn't go without seeing you," his lips formed a small smile.

"So it is a mission."

Maero nodded in confirmation.

"A retrieval mission," he added, releasing one of my hands to tuck a stray hair behind my ear.

"Moegi, things are a little unstable amongst my family. I don't know what is going to happen, but I want to ask you to hang on, trust me, don't let anyone get to you, don't listen to the rumours, don't believe everything that is said," he paused. "And trust Hinata."

"What's going on?"

"The less you know the better," he said kissing my head. "Trust me."

A sudden fear stuck me. I didn't know where it came from or why it was so strong but it was mind numbing. I didn't want to end up like Konohamaru and Hanabi. I wrapped my arms around Maero, pulling him closer. He returned my hug and rested his head on mine.

"Listen to Hinata, she has great hopes, I think she can change the Hyuuga. When she does…" he didn't finish his sentence. "Listen to Hinata, trust her. She may ask something of you, please trust her."

Konohamaru's words from the night before echoed in my mind. '…don't become another pawn for the Hyuuga to play with…'

"Moegi," Maero's voice became very soft. "I love you."

That was the first time he said those words to me. This week had seen a lot of firsts.

He let me go, turning to leave. On impulse I grabbed his hand; Maero looked back at me, his eyes taking me in. In one swift movement I was back in his arms, his lips against mine.

"Be safe," was all he said when he broke the kiss.

Just as suddenly as he was kissing me, he was gone. Damn ninjas.

---


End file.
